Fat Girl, Rock Bottom - What's It Mean To Me?

Being fat is an addiction, no different than being addicted to drugs, or shopping, or hoarding or whatever one's "chosen" vice or vices. Being addicted to being fat is made up of so many other elements that contribute to the overall addiction, battling the fatness involves facing many obstacles and many different mini battles along the way. Becoming addicted to being fat, in my battle, is made up of the following mini addictions:

• Being addicted to eating

• Being addicted to taking the "easy" way out

• Being addicted to avoiding anything that causes pain

• Being addicted to negativity

• Being addicted to not caring

• Being addicted to making excuses

• Being addicted to hating myself

• Being addicted to accepting THIS is the best life I will ever have

• Being addicted to avoiding accountability

• Being addicted to asking for help

Typically when a person becomes an addict to anything negative there is only two end games: Dying an addict or facing the addiction/s and beating them. And sadly a lot of times when an addict makes the decision which fate they will choose... They have hit rock bottom.

"Rock Bottom" is different for everyone. To some people it could be watching friends and family walk away, to others it could be losing their house/car/property or other material objects, and to me, a woman who is addicted to being fat and all the side addictions mentioned above... my rock bottom is a whole different level than you would probably would think right off the bat.

MY rock bottom is not being able to lift my 2 year old daughter into her car seat. It's not being able to walk up the stairs without losing my breath or hurting so bad I have to take a break before I can attempt to get myself and my daughter ready for bed. It's avoiding meeting with friends and even some family because I'm so ashamed of my body and my current physical limitations. It's being told that the steroid shot that might help one of my "many" herniated discs has a very slim chance at being effective on a "healthy" person, and because of my added weight the possibility of said shot helping is even less likely. My rock bottom is being told that the only way to improve my chances of relief, both medically and physically, and to get myself out of my personal rock bottom is to face my addiction to being fat, and everything that comes with that head on and conquer them.

So here I am, a fat girl at my rock bottom, here to take you on my journey to the top with nothing but honesty, accountability, humor and realness on every step of this journey.... Fat girl, rock bottom will one day be what I look back at as my starting point.

~Coming Up Next: My Why, and Why "Whys" are Important to Leaving Rock Bottom.