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Here We Gooooooo Fat Girl Friday!!

Updated: May 4, 2023

Fat Girl Friday Update:

Weight Goal: 301

Actual Weight: 312

Mental Health: I'm motivated, like super charged, but also cautious because we are NOT going back to where we were even just a year ago. This week I struggled with the fact that some days I just can't. I handle my basic responsibilities and then I have to tap out, going to bed early, spending time on the heating pad between cleaning tasks, and sometimes napping. But I keep telling myself I'm not lazy, I'm healing, while blocking out the negative comments of others.

Okay okay okay so everyone who's been down since the beginning has seen this battle more than once, except this time I'm coming more prepared than I've ever been. Sure the last time I had a set amount of points I could eat and I tracked vigorously to ensure I ate what I had to and put the steps in that I needed to... BUT... I didn't know how my body worked, especially the muscles I had long ago abandoned. AND I was doing it for the world then... Now... I'm doing it for myself first, to improve my quality of life and do what I can to make sure I'm here for as long as possible to make memories with Zabrina. And Secondly (started out as the ONLY reason, however when I re-evaluated my life I realized if I don't start making myself a priority, I won't be around long enough to see her go to her first high school dance).

I don't have a solid meal plan, I don't have time to meal prep. BUT I have tools now that I didn't. An entire team of professionals, family and friends that not only have an inside look at the things I'm doing, but I'm blessed with the opportunity to learn how to do it right. Pushing myself to the point I can't walk isn't the goal, like before, pushing myself more than last week while being mindful to the fact I have needs that include resting in order to heal is the goal. It's about balance.

I did a trial of Ketones last week and I'll tell you what... I was like yea ok sure I'll try them but I'm super skeptical... What alot of people don't know is my consistent battle with my addiction to 5 hour energy shots. I used to make a joke that I ran off them, but the scary thing looking back is that wasn't a joke. My energy level was always so low it would physically hurt to be awake sometimes (still does). The first day on Ketones I didn't even think about popping the 2nd 5 hour of the day (I take one in the morning by habit) buy day 3 I wasn't taking them at all (that right there will make up most of the cost of the Ketones). So I took a bit of the money that I've been saving and invested in myself and got a re-occuring order of Ketones (with the approval of my doctor first) and am going to be starting a 2nd supplement this upcoming month too (more details to follow)

I know it's BIG GIRL goals to reach 270 by my birthday, but I've got this. Even if the scale doesn't show what I WANT it to.. my body is starting to do what I NEED it to and getting back to the point I'm comfortable actually working out! (Baby steps) SO if I see that magic number on July 14th I will be beyond the moon, and if I don't.. I'll still be beyond the moon because I'm better than I was a year ago and my focus right now has flipped from what other's think of me... to Me Vs Me. And that's a win win battle for me <3

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