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Fat Girl Friday Birthday Slim Down - Week 5 - 05/26/2023

Fat Girl Friday Update:

Starting Weight: 312 (April 28th weight in)

Last Week's Weight: 303.7

This Week's Weight Goal: 290

Thie Week's Actual Weight: 306

Week's Weight Difference: 2.3 Gain

Birthday Slim Down Weight Difference: -6 lbs

Mental Health:

NSV (Non-Scale Victories): Sometimes I feel so inadequate when it comes to being a mother. Realistically I'm 37 with a 4 year old and I've always felt like I'm failing because I can't afford to get us into our own space (yet) AND have been spending so much time struggling physically and mentally that it always makes me feel like Zabrina is getting the shit end of the stick (which she has been up until now). So when she makes requests for things that I can't provide, like a tent bed because she's been displaying signs of independence and is now at a point she wants her own space to sleep but still wants to be close to me, I secretly went and did the dishes to cover the fact I was devastatingly crying. I can't even make enough room in our little space for her bed, let alone a tent bed. But she insisted that she knew I could do it... so I took a sheet, tied it to the back of our bedroom door, to the closet and draped it across my nightstand (cheap 3 drawer plastic container I've rocked since we moved and I didn't have room or time to bring my actual nightstand) and stacked heavy items on top to ensure it didn't fall. She was SO excited for this quickly thrown together "tent" and I'll tell you, to see her face light up wiped away every feeling of doubt I was feeling, I know I'm not where we need but I'm also secure in the fact that I'm on the right path to getting where I want in life for Zabrina, and for me too :)

I gained weight... and didn't even feel bad about it! I'm still 6 lbs down from the start of this journey and considering how much I've learned and all the extra calories my body is receiving during the day as a result of me trying to be more consistent with eating, how much muscle I know I'm building by being WAY more active and taking my workouts seriously, AND the fact that mother nature is just a couple days out (you know the struggle ladies!).. I'm pleased with the fact I'm still down overall, and have been blessed with the opportunity to re-learn how to use my body for what it's designed for... a vehicle through this crazy road of life.

New Habits Started : I started eating. This is odd I know, considering I'm trying to lose weight, it seems silly.. you want to lose weight, don't eat as much. HOWEVER when my body is used to being tortured daily and never knowing when to expect nutrients so it's constantly in survival mode (like we've discovered my mental is always in this same mode) so this week I really focused on making sure I'm up in time for breakfast (which I've started taking the time to make the TLS shakes)


Old Habits Ended: I'm still not drinking soda of any kind, by choice! There's been plenty of times that I see the Dr. Pepper sitting there and I think "1 won't hurt" but I know myself enough to know that's just a gateway into allowing myself to slip back to my old behaviors.


Mishaps and Oopsies: I eat at least something for lunch and I try to eat dinner at a decent time. I also can't seem to kick the binge eating at night, and I'm fully aware this is where most of my bad calorie intake happens, so I've started replacing the items with healthier options while using mostly what we have on hand.


Outro: Stay hydrated, Stay humble.

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