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Fat Girl Friday - 04/05/2024 - Week 14 - Know Your Ships Needs





Happy April Y'all!! Can you believe that we've already made it a quarter of the way through the year!?!?! Before I get into this week's topic let's talk about where I'm personally at with my Year of the Underdog journey.... 

I'm super far behind on weight loss, I've only lost about 6 lbs this year but I'm not tripping because I can tell that my physical health is WAY better than even 3 months ago. 

Keep in mind a year ago just changing the sheets and making the bed would be the ONLY task I could stay up on regularly while working way shorter and easier visits than I'm handling now. Let's take today as an example, I woke up and was going to lyft as I don't have a scheduled visit for my main job and decided to go to the library with Zabrina. Typically I'd choose to go to our library that stands solo and I'd have to be sat down most of the time we were there. This time.... I not only stripped and made the bed, I vacuumed and then went to our downtown library which is connected to one of our shopping malls. We parked where the mall is and walked to the library, hung out for about 2 hours, walked back and got lunch. Then Zabrina wanted to sit by the window, something I would normally convince her was a bad idea because of the sun and the fact that it's on the other side of the building from where Panda Express (Zabrina's favorite) is and I knew I wouldn't be able to make it all the way back to the car. But we did it. And then when we got home I remembered that the 10 gallon fish tank Zabrina has needed to be cleaned and instead of having to wait until tomorrow... I cleaned it today. 

Some people will never understand what a flex this is because either they don’t understand the obstacles of 7 disc herniations, they don’t understand the obstacles of being 300 lbs, or more so they don’t understand both together create as devastating situations as they do. Either way, I don’t really care anymore, I’M proud of me. And even more…. Zabrina sees the difference in the tidyness of our space, the amount of activities I can do with her, and the fact that I’m more involved when we do get to spend time together. And THATS why I’m pushing so hard every single day. 

Now on to the meat and potatoes…. I had a very productive conversation with a very important crew mate this week about our life ships basic needs. So I decided it would be a great point to talk about The NEEDS of your ship, and how to know the difference between need and want. The biggest way to be able to tell the difference between needs and wants is to set the task as a habit. If the habit produces healthy productive results, or betters the quality of your life or mental well being, there’s a good chance it’s a need. If it doesn’t make a difference, or worse, makes a negative impact there’s a good chance it’s not a need. 

For the 1st 21 days of last month I ran a challenge I called the 21 and done. I took 10 tasks, some that I was doing mostly everyday anyways, and tracked them for 21 days. With the intent to complete them 21 times, because science shows that 21 days of repetitive behavior creates a habit, I started right away making them priority. At first it was hard, especially the switching of my sleep schedule, but I did it. And as the days carried on I noticed that almost all of the list had started to become 2nd nature. I also got into a great groove where I was handling everything so efficiently that it opened up a whole lot of extra time and that included the time I took to do decompression tasks such as coloring or crocheting. 

Looking back I probably should have called this challenge the 21 and NOT done because I had no intent to stop the tasks I had started. Especially after the point I started to FEEL the changes, and the results it produced. 

The changes that were the absolute hardest, but paid off the most, were the going to bed by midnight and getting up and moving by 8:00 am. I used to argue that I had the same amount of hours in a day regardless of when I used them and that at 12:00 am I could accomplish just as much as I could if I got up at 6:00 am. However, I was wrong. The part I didn’t take into consideration was the fact that by the end of the night I had been through all the other normal tasks in the day and was exhausted. This caused my tasks to be completed slower and only half assed because I was rushing to get them done. Once I got more accustomed to getting up early, and my body started to recognize that it was GO time, my tasks started becoming more and more like second nature and took even less time. Mix that with the extra energy I had in the morning and next thing I knew I had free time, and not just a little bit of it. I was able to use this time doing things that filled my happiness cups such as crocheting, reading or binge watching shows like Traitors on Peacock (Go watch it! It was soooo good!) 

The next habit that I really focused on during this challenge was reading with Zabrina every night. This one definitely set the tone for a good bedtime routine for both of us, which paired beautifully with the getting up early and going to sleep on time. More importantly, getting to witness Zabrina’s mind expanding as she learned more about our world and literally  watch her journey to the lands that only books can take you to, which was magical. This was hands down the habit that had the biggest pay off. 

With this challenge it made it clear that I had defined needs if I wanted to run my ship smoothly, and for all of my adult life I had been neglecting those needs mostly because I was so distracted trying to take care of other’s needs that I didn’t even recognize that I even had needs of my own, which is another clear reason my ship has never made it far from the harbor. 

If you’re getting ready to start a new journey, if you’ve reached a port on the way to your final destination, or if you’ve started a journey and had to turn back to your beginning port, it’s a must that you know your ships needs in order to complete any length of journey, otherwise you’ll end up either dead in the water or with a damaged ship that will take far more to repair later. I want you to take a minute right now, grab a pen and paper or whatever you enjoy writing with and start jotting down your non-negotiable needs. Below are some of my ship’s needs to help get you started on your own Life Ship preparations: 

Fuel: This comes in the form of a proper amount of water and food. In order to go anywhere I have to make sure my ship has fuel, and I’m not the best at this part especially when life has me go go going. I will absolutely need to develop a plan for meal prep and start pushing myself to get more water in me, but that will come as we progress. 

Sleep: I can’t possibly function on 3 hours of sleep, or on 6 with 25 wake ups, making sure I’m decompressed, relaxed, finished with my tasks so I don’t mentally dwell, and getting to bed at a decent time allows me to get up at a decent time and handle my to do list. It’s a never ending circle that I now recognize is necessary to make this whole game of life a winner. 

Rest: This is different than sleep. Sleep is just that, resting is when I have to take breaks to allow my back some release, I get overwhelmed and need to just chill out for a minute, or I’m just feeling like I’m out of touch with myself. Resting comes in the form of hot baths, enjoyable musics, vibing out on TikTok live and/or hanging out with Zabrina or the family. 

Me Time: When I say me time, I don’t mean the time spent writing school papers or getting my reports done and need to be uninterrupted, I mean the time I spend doing what I want to do. This sometimes aligns with resting, however sometimes it can also include going for a drive solo, journaling, coloring or taking a nap. This is time I can spend guilt free focusing on me and my cups. 

Zabrina Time: Zabrina time is just that, any time I get to spend doing something with Zabrina. Somedays we go to the library, some days we play dolls between switching laundry. No matter how it’s spent my ship will never sail in any direction without the time and love of Zabrina. She is the fuel that keeps the entire operation moving. 

Productive Time: This is the time that I spend doing my reports, laundry, invoices, and other tasks that are productive and something I would deligate if I had anybody else to handle them for me. It’s necessary to take the time out of my day to fully focus on these tasks as these are also the ones that help the progression. I will never get anywhere if I get fired because my reporting sucks. 

Preparation Time: This one is new, and I didn’t realize how necessary it is. I used to just jump out of bed half hour before I needed to be anywhere, throw some clothes on Zabrina and run a brush through her hair. Then I’d scramble to grab whatever clothes I could find and out the door we went, usually 10 minutes late from the word go. Now I take the time to prepare. With getting up in the morning I have time to actually focus on getting us ready for the day, which sets the tone and really helps boost the productivity. 

So now that you’ve seen what MY ship needs are…. what fuels your ships? What routines or habits would your ship be dead in the water without? I’m more than curious to know what the Squad’s ships are fueled with! 

~Until next time…. Stay Humble, Stay Hydrated~

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