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Fat Girl Friday - 03/29/2024 - Week 13 - Know Your "Crew"

Everyone has a crew on their life ship, wether it be your family, your close friends, your co-workers, your therapist, your boss, or the people you influence every day (I've decided to call my personal crew, the Squad). Regardless of what you name your crew, or what titles they hold in your life there's still some very big points that need to be looked at.

First and foremost, your life ship is just that YOURS. YOU are the CAPTAIN of that ship and wherever it ends up, the condition of it, and the overall journeys it travels on is because of YOU. That even means when it fails. Regardless of what positions on the ship your Squad holds, or things they say they will do, if something goes awry or isn't handled.... YOUR fault.

This is a new mindset for me, I used to be the Queen of escaping accountability. I didn't get that promotion because management made a poor decision. That relationship didn't last because HE was the problem. My revolving situationships didn't solidify because THEY didn't put in the effort. I didn't get my bills paid because my job didn't pay enough. The friendship ended because THEY didn't put the effort in. My back ended up with 7 herniations because my body sucks. I don't know how to regulate my emotions because of my upbringing and the way I was taught to handle them. All of these were lies. To the world and mostly to myself. The reason I don't have my life together is because I let the wheel of my ship go and expected my "crew" to get my ship where I wanted it to be, never understanding that my "crew" had ships of their own to steer and although they were able to help guide my ship, and maybe even take over temporarily... they couldn't steer it. And now that it seems my ship is on the right course I can't help but wonder.... Why would I want someone else in charge of my life ship?

Now when I re-visit those same lies I see them in a different light.. I didn't get that promotion because I couldn't recognize my own weaknesses that management did. That relationship wasn't anybodies fault, our ships were just set for different courses and his was already out of the harbor while mine was still stagnant. The revolving situationships didn't solidify because I didn't hold them to standards that I deserved, and more so I didn't walk away when I realized they never would. My back ended up the way it did mostly because I've lived most of my adult life weighing 300 lbs + and it finally just had enough. I don't know how to regulate my emotions because I never stopped to think what I could do in the moment, because I was too focused on what everyone else was doing.

All of these ships (and more) could have sailed in a completely different direction had I kept a firm grip on my wheel, only letting go long enough to re-fill my life cups, but taking back control.

Now when you are blessed enough, like me, to have a Squad of people to man the ship when you need to step back for a minute and decompress, it's also important to understand that they also have their own life ship. So when they take the time out of their journey to check on me and my journey, it's imperative I make sure that I'm also helping when their ship can't be on auto pilot and they need to take a break. Checking in with my Squad and making sure they understand I'm just as willing to take their wheel as they have been mine are two imperative moves on my part, otherwise those people who mean the world to me will burn out, and nobody wants that.

You have to be careful though, because Energy Pirates are rampant and they are SO dangerous. Especially because they come disguised as crew mates and sometimes actually think they are such. These are the people who secretly don't want your ship on course, they want you to hit that iceberg, either to make themself look OR feel better about their own ship direction. I should know, I used to be an undercover Energy Pirate. I didn't know it, until I wasn't one, but looking back there were SO many times other's ships were headed to beautiful destinations, and even though I WANTED to be happy for them and help them get there, there was a monstrous feeling inside me that wanted more to see them crash so I could catch up, or even more so not feel as bad about where my ship was heading. As hard as it is, because I'm sure you have mad love for your crew, you HAVE to pay attention to the red flags. The never asking how you're doing, or asking and then mimicking your ship's direction with the intent to "beat you to the destination". The taking over of your ship only to steer it in a direction THEY want you to go. The constantly making messes and over using supplies without ever helping stock the ship. THESE are some of the more evident red flags to watch out for on your ship.

Keep in mind though that some of these Energy Pirates honestly don't understand that's what they are, such as I didn't in the moment. It's OK to talk to them and point out the red flags, just be prepared for a defensive or aggressive response because NOBODY wants to admit they are an Energy Pirate, especially when they really don't want to be. If they don't take accountability for their hand in the concerning actions, it's time to cut them off. For yourself and the success of your ship, but also for their own good. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom for someone to realize how much different things could have been with just the smallest accountability.

So in re-cap.... Know your Crew (or Squad as I prefer), Check in with them for the sake of your ships course and to ensure their ship isn't being sacrificed in effort to keep yours going, watch out for and get rid of Energy Pirates.

~Until Next Week.... Stay Humble, Stay Hydrated and Don't be an Energy Pirate~d

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